Back on to readers questions. One of the questions was “What should we NEVER forget to ask to our worker before we accept a placement?”
There is a simple, but long, answer to this question.
Buy the book “The Adoption.com Guide to Adopting from Foster Care”. It’s a great book! I should know, I wrote it.
Seriously, I would buy the book just for the checklists and questions alone. It is a downloadable e-book that sells for $10.95, and is about 200 pages long. I don’t get paid by the number of copies sold, so I don’t benefit if you buy it.
The questions are laid out in two different sections of the book, and address two different aspects of a child’s life.
Part one- 5 pages of questions to ask the worker. This section addresses things like prior placements, medical questions, have there been any disruptions, any instances of the child making false allegations, how does the child feel about moving or being adopted, and so on.
Part two- 5 pages of questions to ask the foster parent(s). This section addresses more of the “every day life” kinds of things. Favorite foods, interests, how does the child behave in the home, what sorts of discipline or consequences work, how does the child handle stress, “routines” within the home, where does the child fit academically, and other family related questions.
Some of the questions overlap, but having two different view points is important. The worker will tell you what’s in the file, or what they have seen from the child during visits. The foster parents are the ones who live with this child every day. They see all ranges of emotions and behaviors. I feel that most of the time, the answers you get from the foster parents are MORE important than the ones you get from the worker. If you’re not allowed to ask the parents these questions, that should be a red flag.
Some of the questions on the list may bring up other questions that are important to you that I didn’t think of. Do not be afraid to ask.
This book also addresses many other aspects of adopting from foster care. Here is the description of the book:
The definitive guide to adopting from the US foster care system, with steps to take, laws, medical issues, resources, and more.
“The Adoption.com Guide to Adopting from Foster Care” is a comprehensive guide to covering all aspects in the adoption process, from finding an agency to do your home study, to post adoption resources.
We answer some of the most common questions, such as-
What exactly does a “home study” entail?
Where do I find waiting children?
What if I find an available child in another state?
What are all these different terms in the child’s profile?
How do I transition a child into my home?
What is a petition for adoption and how and when do I file it?
Where do I find resources for my child’s special needs?Written in plain language, this book is perfect for anyone going through the adoption process, or wondering if they want to adopt a child from foster care.
I wrote this book as if I were adopting for the first time. I thought of all the questions I had, and what I knew other parents wanted for information. I also polled parents who had already adopted, and asked them what they wished they had known before they adopted, and incorporated their answers into the book. I also had people who had no history with foster care or adoption read it and see if it made sense to them.
For those of us who deal with all the acronyms, definitions, and disorders on a regular basis, it’s easy to forget that we need to explain them to people who are just getting started.
Another thing I would suggest is getting a list that will be able to answer questions for you. Adoption.com has several forums that relate to foster care adoption. At ATN we have also started a pre-adopt list to allow parents to get information on the process. These can be invaluable tools.
I hope this answered your question.